About "The Family Stone"
When does novelty graduate to annual tradition? That's a question I've been asking myself about The Family Stone because I can't pinpoint which year it became essential holiday viewing in my home. I do know for sure that its origin is tied to my beloved group chat*, and that our collective attachment to it has given me life when the rest of the world has failed to.
You will find plenty on the internet about this movie's myriad failings; one Stereogum scribe** has decreed it the worst Christmas movie of all time. I am not here to convince you that The Family Stone is a cinematic masterpiece, but I am here to say that all those detractors are missing the point.
The Family Stone is a movie in which Diane Keaton wears a heavily starched popped-collar button-down shirt to bed; a raw turkey sits on a desk for hours and no one worries about food poisoning; one brother dumps his girlfriend for the girlfriend's sister and then his brother hooks up with the girlfriend and the whole thing is treated as hey, it happens; two characters realize they're made for each other because of a totem pole in Alaska; a family game of charades is used to level an accusation of racism; Sarah Jessica Parker declares "I love the gays!" after telling a gay couple that being gay will cause their adoptive child to be hopelessly disadvantaged in life; and two uncooked breakfast stratas are destroyed because no one thought to cover them with plastic wrap while they sat in the fridge overnight, a detail that has always struck me as the most unbelievable thing about this entire film.
And yet. And yet! I love this movie, from its opening title cards, so reminiscent of those used in Golden Age Christmas films, to its last scene, which is a hell of a downer to pin on a holiday comedy. The latter illustrates one criticism of this movie, which is its wildly uneven tone — one minute, everyone's making fun of SJP's revolting throat-clearing habit, and the next, Diane Keaton is dying of cancer. But I humbly submit that this very thing is what gives the movie its strange, disturbing power.
I never thought I'd argue that The Family Stone is in any way true to real life, but what characterizes real life if not a wildly uneven tone? Things are funny and horribly sad, sometimes (often) at the exact same time. This is particularly the case during the holidays, when close proximity to family has a way of fomenting contradictory emotions and too-early sunsets exacerbate the melancholy of the season. Who hasn't watched the street lights come on at 4:30 and thought about death?
Another popular criticism of this movie is how awful everyone is. The Stones are assholes! Even the little kid, who breaks one of SJP's shoes! It's more or less impossible to root for anyone, since SJP, as the girlfriend being introduced to the family, is also a piece of work. True, everyone sort of softens over the course of the movie — SJP experiences a full personality transplant — but at heart, the Stones are judgy, judgy people. Which, again: also true to life. People are awful. Sometimes they're also your family, or the family you marry into, and you have to deal with them once or twice a year.
And often, you find a way to love them anyway, and mourn them when they're gone. And that's why The Family Stone has become my It's a Wonderful Life: it's not afraid to go to some dark places and roll around in them, and be inappropriate, and batshit crazy, and in this way it wholly earns its bittersweet ending. It's not a great or even all that good movie, but it has the courage to fly its freak flag high. And for that reason I wouldn't change any of it. Except for maybe the stratas. Someone should really plastic wrap those things.
*Guys, I repeat: I am sorry for watching the movie without you this year.
**I just realized I went to high school with this person.
